If you listen closely to the Christmas songs about ol’ Saint Nick, he’s really not the best role-model out there. In fact, he’d probably make a good mob boss.
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↓ Transcript
Panel 1:
[At the DBM HQ, the family is sitting around a conference table...]
Leo the Boss: "Before we adjourn, are there any other matters needing to be discussed?"
Benny the Bookie: "Next year we need to get in on a Christmas racket! Leo, just hear me out..."
Panel 2:
Benny the Bookie: "He’s making a list, He’s checking it twice, He’s gonna find out, Who’s naughty or nice."
Benny the Bookie: "He sees you when you’re sleeping, He knows when you’re awake, He knows if you’ve been bad or good..."
Benny the Bookie: "It’s all right there!"
Jimmy the Nose: [off-screen] "He’s got a point."
Panel 3:
Jimmy the Nose: "Santa’s got stalking, wiretapping, breaking and entering, identity theft, coercion and blackmail all covered."
Kenny the Crypt: "Nothing says holiday spirit like coercion and blackmail."
[At the DBM HQ, the family is sitting around a conference table...]
Leo the Boss: "Before we adjourn, are there any other matters needing to be discussed?"
Benny the Bookie: "Next year we need to get in on a Christmas racket! Leo, just hear me out..."
Panel 2:
Benny the Bookie: "He’s making a list, He’s checking it twice, He’s gonna find out, Who’s naughty or nice."
Benny the Bookie: "He sees you when you’re sleeping, He knows when you’re awake, He knows if you’ve been bad or good..."
Benny the Bookie: "It’s all right there!"
Jimmy the Nose: [off-screen] "He’s got a point."
Panel 3:
Jimmy the Nose: "Santa’s got stalking, wiretapping, breaking and entering, identity theft, coercion and blackmail all covered."
Kenny the Crypt: "Nothing says holiday spirit like coercion and blackmail."
Let us not forget he’s got all the elves working for him year round while he just sits around and eats cookies and makes his lists.
That’s also assuming that he makes the lists himself!
True true. I declare I saw him or someone who looks like him shopping at my local grocery store earlier. He just walked right past me.
The CIA and FBI have nothing on Santa!
I think next year I’m going to write that into the strip!
Most Wanted: Santa. Happy Holidays, Bret!
Most wanted, indeed. Merry Christmas to you Mark!